Late night political humor

7 Sep

“Michelle Obama said the first car Barack picked her up in was so old you could see the ground below them. Today Ann Romney said the same thing about Mitt’s first helicopter.”
–Conan O’Brien

“The Democratic Convention had a huge lighting problem in the convention hall. They worked all day on it and they still couldn’t get President Obama out of Bill Clinton’s shadow.”
–Jay Leno

“The Democrats are going all out to top last week’s Republican Convention. In fact, I heard they’re going to have Clint Eastwood yell at a couch.”
–Jimmy Fallon

“At the Democratic National Convention, two of the speakers were identical twin brothers, Joaquin and Julian Castro. Apparently promising identical twins was the only way to get Bill Clinton to show up. Man, was he disappointed.”
–Conan O’Brien

“In her speech, First Lady Michelle Obama said her husband has dinner with his girls where they strategize about middle school relationship. Which explains why today the Pentagon ordered a drone strike on that lying bitch Ashley.”
–Conan O’Brien

“If you’re a donor to President Obama’s campaign, you were promised exclusive access to Joe Biden – and for an extra $10,000 absolutely no access to Joe Biden.”
–Conan O’Brien

“Former Democratic nominee John Kerry is going to give a speech about foreign policy. It will be like Clint Eastwood’s speech except this time the empty chairs will be in the audience.”
–Craig Ferguson

“Two California Democratic delegates have already been kicked out of convention for getting completely drunk. One passed out, the other was accused of impersonating a member of Congress. They knew he wasn’t a real member of Congress because he was buying his own drinks with his money.”
–Jay Leno

“The Democratic Convention is $27 million in debt. They had to cancel the kick-off event at the Charlotte Motor Speedway. A speedway is the perfect place for the Democratic Convention. You go around in circles, turn left every few seconds, and you end up right where you started.”
–Jay Leno

2 Responses to “Late night political humor”

  1. Anonymous September 7, 2012 at 6:24 pm #

    Good to have this feature back. Would hate to have to TiVo all those shows….

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