Binders of women

19 Oct

If you watched the second presidential debate, you heard Mitt Romney talk about looking for more women for his cabinet.

And he put the word out and got “binders of women”.

On Amazon:
The item for sale – Avery Durable View Binder with 2 Inch EZ-Turn Ring, White, 1 Binder (17032)

The reviews listed with the above product:
People having fun at Mitt’s expense.

As a woman, I’m not adept at making decisions that concern me. So when I need the right choice, I turn to the presidential candidate that KNOWS. One with prideful experience in this department. I don’t want to be filed away in an inferior & confusing electronic doohickey that I couldn’t possibly understand. Or heaven forbid, have a man ask for & listen to my ideas! I’d much rather rely on this top of the line, 1980s style, Avery Durable binder. It’s the choice America can trust. My education, my ideas, my opinions, my choices, please PLEASE keep them safely stored away here and far away from the men that might fear them (I mean, want to use them to hire me somedaynever). I’d write more about this most useful product, but it’s time I hurry home to make dinner.

For any of you who might be considering, like me, purchasing this binder based on the reviews, let me just point out one glaring omission: While this is a lovely, multi-purpose binder, IT DOES NOT COME WITH WOMEN. Presumably one is expected to find women on one’s own, or contact women’s groups who are supposedly eager to help stock your empty binder with women. For a first time buyer like myself, I have to say I would rather have waited until I had accumulated a few women before investing in a binder. Just a little warning for prospective buyers.

I bought this binder hoping that it would help me raise my 2 children after I heard Mitt Romney say that since I was a single mother, my kids would grow up and someday, quite possibly, get a hold of AK47’s and go on mass killing sprees. I just could not let that happen. After the third time of my kids back talking me, this binder has been a God-send!! Whenever they get disrespectful, I grab my binder, wave it around, open it up a few times, and they immediately stop whatever they were doing and behave!! I’m going to have to order a backup, ASAP just in case my binder winds up missing. I don’t know how I have lived without one for so long!! Thank you, Mitt Romney!!

For most of you regular folks, spending money on this binder is a waste of money. Barring some casual relationships, I can think of maybe 5-6 Résumés worth keeping’em filed. That’s 5-6 pages of paper for which 25-cent envelopes will do just fine. Good for you if you need this binder to keep them organized (Hi, Mitt! 🙂 )

These binders are durable and the rings don’t get offset like some do. The sleeves allow you to insert your cover sheets. We use them in various sizes organizing our paperwork. BUT – if you are looking for binders full of women, you’ll find a paucity here. These came without any Homo sapiens of any sex or age – no women, men, children, etc. Amazon does not carry binders full of women, it seems. Customer Service could not provide me with any information as to where I can find binders full of women, but it was suggested that I look in an underdeveloped country where women have no rights.

I am only giving this binder one star because, well it’s just too small! My master/husband has consigned me to one lousy page! ONE PAGE! As first of his 3 wives and 50+ women/ex girlfriends I feel that I should be given at least two pages!!! I have hundreds of baking/cooking tips that need to come with me so that I can get those meals ready. When my mother was married she had a full 10 pages!!! I know I am supposed to keep my mindless thoughts to myself and my mouth closed tightly but this company should consider making a binder with a special, multiple page section in the front for the first wife. Until that happens, one star.

I am so unhappy and depressed after reading all these lovely comments. It seems like this would be the absolute perfect thing for me to get my life in order. Unfortunately since I am on SSI there is NO way I could possibly scrape together the extra cash to get myself under control with a lovely, new binder. What in the world to do? I hate to be one of those, you know “THEM” who thinks the guv’mnt owes me anything, I mean anything more than I already get and all that, but considering the fact that people like me are just a drain on the rest of the country any way, do you think there is any possible way Avery will start a program to contribute binders for women like me? Or maybe, the guv’mnt could provide us women with binders. I mean, wouldn’t that be more cost effective? Mittens could pop us all into lovely, white Avery binders and we would be out of the way and not a drain on the rest of y’all. Plus, Mittens and his cohorts would never, ever have to even SEE us. Not unless, of course, he needed one of us for some sort of political contribution. Oh wait, he wouldn’t even need us for that!! We don’t have any cash to contribute! Well, I’m just a woman, an all, but I really think this could be the answer to Mittens problem with part of the economic problem. Pop us into binders, no more SSI, no more Foodstamps, no more healthcare needs. And we would all be there, safe in the binders, just in case we were ever needed. I think someone really ought to let him know. I certainly wouldn’t mind being safe inside my binder. It would sure as hell be easier than worrying that Mittens might actually WIN this freakin election!! Someone donate me a binder! Please!

I was originally going to rate this only 1 star. You see, I’m a big girl and I can only squeeze about 53% of myself into this binder. But then I decided that I’m not going to worry about the other 47%.

Let’s face it – 47% of your collection will put a lot of wear and tear on a binder no matter how hard you try to organize them. These are the 47% of your women who just won’t take responsibility for the upkeep of your binder. You know, the takers who don’t pay their fair share: the soldiers, cleaning ladies, librarians, store clerks, teachers, disabled, students, dog walkers, active seniors, daycare providers, and women whose occupations can’t be listed here. Those women are going to be rough on a cheaper binder, such as the Avery Economy View Binder with 2 Inch Round Ring, White (5731). The lovely, durable binder listed here is strong enough to stand up to heavy use by low-income women, so it’s worth a little more. And with the discount Amazon offers, you’ll probably pay only 72 cents on the dollar. I agree with other reviewers, though, that the binder should be available in pink, and that’s why I’m awarding it only 3 stars.

And they go on and on.

Go see for yourself.

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