Late night political humor

14 Dec

Late-night-political-humor---christie-sized“According to the latest census poll, a large number of Californians are moving out of state and going to places like Texas and Nevada. Look, I know a lot of us are disgusted with the Lakers, but that’s no reason . . .”
–Jay Leno

“The Lakers are so bad, when Mitt Romney talks about the 47 percent, he means Dwight Howard’s free throw shooting.”
–Jay Leno

“New Jersey Democrats say Republican Governor Chris Christie will be impossible to beat. It’s unclear if they’re talking about the 2013 governor’s race or Coney Island hot dog-eating contest.”
–Conan O’Brien

“According to the Mayan calendar, December 21 marks the end of the world. Then why am I Christmas shopping?”
–David Letterman

“December 21, the end of the world, is a Friday. So it means dress is casual.”
–David Letterman

“Japan and South Korea are on high alert after North Korea successfully launched a long-range rocket. Both countries are surprised by North Korea’s successful launch, but definitely not as surprised as North Korea.”
–Jimmy Fallon

“A company in California designed a flying drone that will drop burritos over your house using a parachute — or as Chris Christie calls that, ‘the best forecast ever!'”
–Jimmy Fallon

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