Late night political humor

14 Jan

Late-night-political-humor-colbert-sized“What do you put on a trillion-dollar coin? On the tail side obviously a bald eagle breathing fire while making love to the American flag. What is on the heads? Obama? Boehner? I’ll tell what you it should be, those Charmin bears – because when you pull an idea like this out of your ass, you’re going to need something soft.”
– Stephen Colbert

“Today Democrats said they want another trillion dollars in taxes. Didn’t we just give them $620 billion last Wednesday? Is that gone already? Who is running this, ‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’?”
– Jay Leno

“Tickets to President Obama’s inauguration have sold out. At least that’s what the president is telling Joe Biden.”
– Conan O’Brien

“Joe Biden and his wife left D.C. this weekend for a five-day vacation in the Caribbean. Of course, most of that time will be spent telling him that Margaritaville isn’t a real place.”
– Jimmy Fallon

“Chuck Hagel is the new secretary of defense nominee. They are saying that he may be reluctant to send troops into a war zone needlessly. What kind of a nut job is this guy?”
– David Letterman

“Secretary of State Hillary Clinton returned to work today and as a joke, her staff gave her a helmet. This is the second time a Clinton in government has been asked to wear protection.”
– Conan O’Brien

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