Call me President, please

11 Mar

the-most-tattooed-presidential-candidate-sizedWe always wanted to run for President.

Winning would be impossible, but we’d always be introduced as “former presidential candidate”.
Great fun.

By the way, that gentleman to the right is a presidential candidate – in Finland.

With over 3-and-a-half years before the next election, it’s not too early for some folks to throw their hats into the ring.

19 have already filed their Form 2 Statement of Candidacy to run in the 2016 presidential election.

Of course, none of these names are exactly big-time quantities in political circles.

But you have to give them credit for perserverence…or ding them for stupidity.

All have run for president before, totaling a cumulative 55 times dating back to the 1996.

Here’s the scoop on a few, picked for no particular reason.

Republican Timothy Kalemkarian of Westlake Village, California leads the way having filed his Statement of Candidacy for president in the 1996, 2000, 2004, 2008, 2012, and 2016 cycles – and 2020.

More than five months earlier, Yinka Abosede Adeshina of Tallahassee, Florida filed her statement.

Adeshina listed her party as Republican, although she filed as a Democrat when she ran in 2012.

Two other candidates filed for 2016 before the 2012 contest – Republican Tim “Texas Slim” Day of Galveston Island, Texas and Republican Lowell Fellure of Hurricane, West Virginia – with seven others filing in November, two in December, and six in January.

Six candidates list their political party as Republican, with six as independents (or “none”), two Democrats, one Green, one Socialist Democrat, one Revolutionary, one Anti-Hypocrisy, and one America’s Third Party.

Some candidates appear to be quite confident in their campaigns.

For example, Sheila “Samm Tittle”, an independent from Fredericksburg, Virginia, named her principal campaign committee “Madame President Tittle.”

Then there’s this one:

Princess Khadijah M. Jacob-Fambro, a San Franciscan running under the Revolutionary Party banner, named her campaign committee “From one alien to another alien – ‘Lil Wayne’ Dwayne Michael Carter Jr. President Carter” WILL YOU MARRY ME? I AM GOD!!! President Princess Khadijah M. Jacob-Fambro”.

Mixed in the text was a smiley face.

Another candidate, David Christopher Holcomb of Springfield, Nebraska, includes a photocopy of his business card on his statement.

That card, which lists his law practice address in Denver, Colorado, also reveals his wife’s name and the fact that he has no biological children.

Many more details about Mr. Christopher, such as that he is a Conservative Christian who does not use Facebook or Twitter and has no tattoos or piercings, can be found on the blog of his campaign website where he comments quite extensively about identify fraud.

Christopher also states, “For The Record: We The People ARE ALL ANTI-ISLAM & ANTI-MUSLIM” and calls for “Immediate, Full Force And Full Fury Military Strikes By America And Israel On Iran’s Nuclear Capabilities, Nuclear Facilities And Nuclear Assets.”

On the other side of the ideological spectrum, Green Party candidate Charles Brannan of Chico, California, has his 2016 website up and running, where he proclaims “All wars are crimes.”

In keeping with the Green Party mantra, Brannan is reusing his 2008 campaign site domain name. (he ran in 2008, 2012, and 2016).

However, because 2016 is still a few years down the road, some of these early birds are running for other political offices in the meantime.

For example, Democrat Jeff Boss of Guttenberg, New Jersey states on his campaign website that he is running for mayor of New York City as well as governor of New Jersey.

Mr. Boss suggests on his website that the NSA is altering his website and “blocking me from having a fair election,” presumably because he accuses the NSA of arranging the 9/11 attacks (as detailed on his website).

About 400 people filed a statement of candidacy to run for the presidency in 2012 – so we can expect more loonies coming out of the woodwork.

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