Sticky fingers and politics

29 Mar

Dale-Peterson-sizedDale Peterson is an Alabama Republican.

He’s best known for his campaign videos yelling about “thugs and criminals”.

We once mentioned how people who take the strongest stand against something can frequently be guilty of doing that same stuff.

Case in point:
Peterson has been arrested for the shoplifting for the second time in five months.

He says it’s “bizarre and so idiotic” and swears he’s not a thief.

In an interview he admitted he was taken to jail after shopping at a Sam’s Club this week.

Store security accused him of stealing after he ate a handful of cashews from a jar and then returned the nuts to a shelf an hour-and-a-half later after deciding not to purchase them.

Outside of that being stealing, it’s just plain gross.

Peterson blames it on a poor memory – he had simply forgotten he had eaten from the jar.

“Maybe I’m getting too damn old, getting CRS disease or whatever.”

In case you aren’t from those parts, CRS stands for “can’t remember shit.”

He says his arrest over “22 cents worth of peanuts” is “unbelievable” because he tried to pay the store for the nuts after realizing his mistake.

He also says he spent over $900 in the store that day.

“The whole jar was $13 dollars, but I had a little handful out there. Never opened them again. And if you want to break it down, it’s about 22 cents worth of peanuts.”

The point is – he opened the jar, ate some stuff and put it back.

“Hell, I’m going to buy these things anyway, so I opened them, got me a handful, closed them back up real tight, sealed them and was munching on them.”

He says he then spent the next 90 minutes wandering around eating the free food being handed out, stopped being hungry and decided he didn’t want the nuts any more.

As he left the security guy grabs him.

Last October, he was accused of trying to steal two cases of beer from Wal-Mart.

Peterson says he was falsely accused by police and store employees who didn’t understand that he “just had to pee” and was planning on paying for the beer after he visited the store bathroom.

He blames all this on the “establishment” because he tells on them. points them out, and shines the spotlight on them.

His answer to all this is don’t go back to Wal-Mart or Sam’s Club anytime soon and let his wife do the shopping from now on.

“She’s going to have to stop being so damn lazy. She’s going to have to start doing the shopping.”

That should make him popular with her.

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