Late night political humor

30 Apr

Late-night-political-humor-13-sized“The Bush Presidential Library is beautiful, and they have a huge section devoted to weapons of mass destruction, but nobody can find it.”
–David Letterman

“In President Bush’s high school yearbook, he was voted least likely to have a library named after him.”
–Jay Leno

“There’s a new iPhone app that tells women where they can buy Michelle Obama’s clothes. Not only that — there’s another app that tells men where they can buy Hillary Clinton’s clothes.”
–Jimmy Fallon

“New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was in Texas for the dedication of George W. Bush’s presidential library. The library is already done, but they brought in Christie for a second ground breaking.”
–Jimmy Fallon

“A new report found that the worst job in the U.S. is being a newspaper reporter. They say it’s better for writers to just focus on fiction and become a CNN reporter.”
–Jimmy Fallon

“Senator John McCain went on TV this week to call Kim Jong-Un a clown and a fool. As you know, according to John McCain, that would still make him eligible to be vice president.”
–Jay Leno

“U.S. intelligence agencies have put together a psychological profile of Kim Jong Un. They say he’s a narcissist, and he is obsessed with Hollywood, obsessed with plastic surgery, and obsessed with the NBA. It’s a condition we know as ‘Kardashianism.'”
–Jay Leno

“Former Congressman Anthony Weiner is back on Twitter. It’s like giving Lindsay Lohan the keys to the mini bar.”
–David Letterman

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