Late night political humor

4 Jun

Late-Night-Political-Humor-Trump-SizedThe late night shows are in reruns this week, so here’s some slightly stale stuff.

“Anthony Weiner is running for mayor of New York City and he had to change his campaign website yesterday because it accidentally showed a picture of the Pittsburgh skyline instead of Manhattan. Or as Weiner calls it, ‘an embarrassing photo I can live with.'”
– Jimmy Fallon

“According to the Boston Globe, First Lady Michelle Obama and her daughters will stay on Martha’s Vineyard for the summer. You can tell President Obama is getting a little defensive. When a reporter asked him about the trip, he said he had no prior knowledge of the vacation, he just learned about it from the media.”
– Jay Leno

“Casual Friday today in the Obama White House. Which means they’re casually going through everyone’s phone records.”
– Jay Leno

“A seven-year-old boy from Milwaukee, a kid by the name of Miles Nelson, wrote a letter to the vice president. He has an interesting solution to our problem with gun violence. Miles wrote, ‘I think guns should shoot out chocolate bullets.’ Believe it or not, the vice president actually wrote Miles back. He wrote, ‘I really like your idea. If we had guns that shot chocolate, not only would our country be safer, it would be happier. Happier people love chocolate.’ Do you really want a politician to get behind gun with chocolate bullets? The guy you should be writing to is Chris Christie. He will get this done.”
– Jimmy Kimmel

“Time magazine found a picture of President Obama at his high school prom back in 1979. Let me tell you how long ago that was. Back then, Obama had to ask a girl for her phone number. He couldn’t illegally obtain it through the Justice Department.”
– Jay Leno

“During a Senate hearing yesterday, Senator John McCain said it was too hard to always have to update apps on his iPhone. No one has the heart to tell him the device he was holding was a garage door opener.”
– Conan O’Brien

“A lot of people are criticizing President Obama, including Michelle Obama. She recently said she could take a whole afternoon and talk about Barack’s failures. She was immediately hired by Fox News.”
– Conan O’Brien

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